MAIN TEXT
(I've altered my main text after realizing I was, in essence, glamorizing a mundane moment in an attempt to make it less so. Since this runs contrary to the spirit of the assignment, I present a new and more banal main text below.)
As my father drove our van through the flat, seemingly infinite plains of Kansas I passed the time by staring off into space. Having not brought any books with print large enough to read in a moving vehicle without becoming carsick, I rested my head against my window and tried to make out shapes in the clouds. Sadly, in Kansas even the clouds are nondescript.
Dad was quiet, left arm resting on the window sill. Hot wind tumbled into the car, accompanied at one point by a fly. The fly righted itself against this sudden change of location, flying dizzily around the car. I followed its movement, watching as it landed on my window. It crawled up and down the glass, stopping only to rub its front legs together. As time went on it grew panicked and began to fly at the window, baffled by this new barrier. Repeatedly it flew into the glass, punctuating the humming of its wings with small tink sounds.
Before long it flew up front where my father was sitting. It buzzed around his head. Dad shooed it away with an irritated wave of the hand. It moved left to dodge the hand and was suddenly pulled back into the hot Kansas summer air. I went back to staring at the clouds.
FIRST VARIATION
Retelling the story using nothing but nouns
Father. Van. Kansas. Summer. Plains. Books. Carsickness. Window. Clouds. Boredom.
Dad. Arm. Window sill. Wind. Fly. Car interior. Window. Fly. Front legs. Barrier. Panic. Fly. Window. Fly. Window. Fly. Window. Panic.
Father. Head. Fly. Irritation. Hand. Dodge. Wind. Kansas. Summer. Plains. Clouds. Boredom.
Dad was quiet, left arm resting on the window sill. Hot wind tumbled into the car, accompanied at one point by a fly. The fly righted itself against this sudden change of location, flying dizzily around the car. I followed its movement, watching as it landed on my window. It crawled up and down the glass, stopping only to rub its front legs together. As time went on it grew panicked and began to fly at the window, baffled by this new barrier. Repeatedly it flew into the glass, punctuating the humming of its wings with small tink sounds.
Before long it flew up front where my father was sitting. It buzzed around his head. Dad shooed it away with an irritated wave of the hand. It moved left to dodge the hand and was suddenly pulled back into the hot Kansas summer air. I went back to staring at the clouds.
FIRST VARIATION
Retelling the story using nothing but nouns
Father. Van. Kansas. Summer. Plains. Books. Carsickness. Window. Clouds. Boredom.
Dad. Arm. Window sill. Wind. Fly. Car interior. Window. Fly. Front legs. Barrier. Panic. Fly. Window. Fly. Window. Fly. Window. Panic.
Father. Head. Fly. Irritation. Hand. Dodge. Wind. Kansas. Summer. Plains. Clouds. Boredom.
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